Handicap Chaos

The Handicap Squash Challenge went off with many bangs (thanks to those cheap balloons) on Saturday 11 April with 28 players divided into 7 teams competing against each other, and against ridiculous odds.

With Clinton Dewing, Bianca Brooker and the brothers Rowett all being drawn together there were cries of fowl play, fraud and match rigging. But the handicaps did their trick and the dream team came bone last with 109 points, while Team 1 consisting of Ester, Peter, Hockey-coach Dave and Sumari came first with 149 points.

The handicap challenge was a most enjoyable day of squash where we had people spinning, hopping, one-eyed, hitting only backhands, playing with their wrong hands and more. The braai following was even more enjoyable some of us falling prey to the evil green bottle, others enjoying a full night of festivities.

The event raised a gross of N$4,720 in aid of sending team SFC to the SA Country Districts Squash Festival in Paarl. From the organisers and team SFC, a big thank you to all who came, paid, sponsored, played, watched and laughed.

Best dressed: Danie Nel (Are you really surprised?).

Heads You Win. Tails I Lose.

The Handicap Tournament is an event that reduces the country’s top players to one-eyed, frog-marching invalids while giving supernatural powers to their novice counterparts. It is a fun and festive day that inevitably ends in tears. Of laughter.

Skip to the details

This year, after significant growth, the SFC Squash Club is able to send a full team to the annual country districts squash festival in South Africa; the club also has two players – Ian Rowett and Jacques Steenkamp – representing Namibia in the main event. The SFC Squash Club is proud to announce that all proceeds from the Handicap Tournament will go towards our members’ expenses to participate in the South African event in May.

The Handicap Tournament is open to all and, being the Easter long weekend, the organisers hope to attract Windhoek and Walvis Bay players for a bit of inter-town rivalry.

So what exactly is a handicap tournament? Players are rated and assigned handicaps that vary according to their opponents. A top player could be given a racquet with duct tape covering the strings, while his opponent can hit the ball after an extra bounce if necessary. Surprise is our strategy but some popular handicaps include wearing an eye-patch; hitting the ball with one leg in the air; playing with a large backpack full of dirty laundry and a shot of Jäggermeister before the game. Some advantages we give to novice players include being able to hit the ball twice; scoring double points; having two serves and a shot of Jäggermeister before the game (to settle the nerves).

Games are played with a time-limit and the object is to score as many points as possible. At the end of the event, scores are totalled and the winner hoists the official Handicap Trophy aloft. Afterwards the players make a big fire and cook meat to celebrate the victorious and the not-so-victorious.

Handicap Tournament 2009 Details:

How to enter: use the sign-up sheet at the courts or contact one of the organisers; closing date Friday 10 April, mid-day

Date: Saturday 11 April, 2009.

Time: 2pm - late.

Cost: extortionate.

Braai afterwards: Oh yes.

Prizes: for the best dressed and the worst player (if the handicapping system works).

Contact: Ian (081 312 1836), Andree (081 302 5620), Ruth (081 269 5680, Jacques (081 399 7823), Chris (081 382 1976).

Sponsors: welcome…